Watching my first cat, Salty, as he traps a roach, dismembers it with his claws and mouth, and then eats the succulent, writhing remains. It is a psychological gateway into a lengthy laundry list of traumatic experiences: digging through a box of supplies in my outdoor playhouse when a roach zips out and scuttles up my leg, its spiky appendages pricking at my skin. Real or imaginary, this incident triggered an intense dislike of cockroaches that would only intensify as years passed and encounters with those creatures multiplied. Or perhaps it was just business-as-usual in our Southern US home, where – no matter what chemical barriers were erected – cockroaches inevitably found their way inside. Perhaps I dreamed it, or my early memory is flawed. I recently asked my mother about this event, and she had no idea what I was talking about. She shrieks, flailing and stomping, suddenly naked and vulnerable and afraid. As she wraps the towel around her body, however, it quickly makes itself known. As she pulls a towel from the rack, I notice a dark stain marring that clean, fluffy pink material. The bathroom door stands open in front of me, and my mother is emerging from the shower. I’m about four years old, and I’m sitting in the green-carpeted hallway of our family’s first home in Biloxi, Mississippi. ![]() I can still hear the echoes of unhappy neighing whenever I visit that part of the map.What’s your earliest memory? For me, the answer is not pleasant. Be methodical, take your time, and eventually, you will make it over that cliff. Elden Ring’s world contains the fantastic rule of if you can see it, you can (Almost certainly) pay it a visit, although the answer as to how is seldom obvious. Can you get there? How? Is more equine-based suicide the answer? Well, to answer each question: Yes, it’s complicated, and please don’t hurl yourself down any more bottomless pits. We have established horses and never-ending drops do not mix, and yet you can clearly see that there is something worth visiting on the other side of that canyon. However, even if you are smart enough not to spend your entire time staring upwards as your trusty steed begins to plunge downwards, it is likely you will struggle with Elden Ring’s areas at some point. I mean, if you don’t try that optional boss right at the end, a pneumatic drill couldn’t help me break down that wall.ģ) If you’re stuck on how to move forward, the answer does not involve a leap of faith.Įlden Ring’s Lands Between is utterly entrancing, so entrancing in fact you could ride your horse straight off a cliff while staring at the gorgeous landscape. Often the way forward seems utterly impossibly, but if you are resilient and happy to run backwards into the unexplored wilderness, the Lands Between will eventually bend to your will. Sure, I was too weak to beat that boss right away, but six hours of exploring the opposite direction later and I could return with a hammer big enough to demolish that metaphorical wall. Sometimes there is no amount of friendly ghost jellyfish that can get you past the latest brick wall the game has thrown at you, and the enemy my unfortunate tarnished is about to meet is one such obstacle. Here are 10 screenshots of Elden Ring taken moments before a disaster, and what that disaster taught me!įor those who haven’t played Elden Ring, this will just look like a rather wonderfully positioned screengrab of an imposing castle, but those who have will know that my player character is about to receive the furthest thing possible from a warm welcome. Please always keep your hands and feet on the horse, don’t get upset at being called “maidenless”, and do try to avoid those trolls. The fact that so many artists have been inspired to pick up their pens is a testament to Elden Ring’s beauty and brilliance, but don’t be fooled, this is not a place for the faint of heart. This means you have probably been subjected to reading about how angry “gamers” are once again shouting about difficulty settings, but on the flip side you have also likely seen some of the excellent fan art depicting FromSoftware’s darkly Nordic fantasy land. You simply cannot escape Elden Ring right now, because even if you aren’t playing the game, it appears everyone on social media is. Hidetaka Miyazaki’s latest masterpiece has been an unstoppable force since its late February release, with sales beyond the highest of expectations. To describe Elden Ring’s reception as “positive” would not be inaccurate, but “ overwhelming” is closer to the mark. Just look at these gorgeous Elden Ring screenshots!
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